Questioning the grays in greens!!

Sitting in the middle of nature
let me greenify my thought
Am I still his creature
or am I already bought?

Don't know whats's fast
the pen or the cry
the suffocation is vast
the world is dry.

Do I want the world to leave me
or shall I leave the world
was it too hard being me
or was 'I' a bit too curled?

Coming to terms with fancy ones
being my own new host
taking them as the only ones
the real feels lost.

Is it the realization phase
that he once spoke about
neither deep look nor empty gaze
its none - without a doubt.

Outside its not raining
but tears are falling from my eyes
come Oh God! start draining
feel the pain above the skies.

Be with me, make me good!
come Vivan, help me be
let your smiles be my food
make me happy and let me flee!